Ideas flow in and dreams feels tangible. Even falling in love. We met online and instantly clicked.
When Lyme Takes A Toll On Relationships: How To Find Love & Happiness When You’re Chronically Ill
He felt like a really good person right away. We started talking every day. I was scared of what he would do once he saw me and my illness, regardless of its invisibility. I asked if he would be willing to meet up a few weeks later and continue talking in the meantime.
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He said yes and our conversations became much more deep. Within the next few weeks, I opened up to him about my Lyme. He was unconditionally accepting, supportive and did not let it negatively affect our relationship. Having some time to talk before meeting allowed me to get to know him differently. I really liked him before our first date.
I knew we had things in common. He was cultured, smart and was willing to put himself out there. He treated me wonderfully. On our first date, we had this quiet moment I will never forget. It started to rain during a hike, so we stood together underneath his umbrella, just gazing out onto a beautiful New England valley from the mountainside. We stood there, quiet, comfortable and so happy. We looked at each other smiling softly, and we both knew this was it — the real deal.
Conversations for days turned into a true friendship, leading to an undeniable loving relationship. What we now have, in a rather short time, trumps any disease, and the proof is in our everyday lives.
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His simple acts of kindness, caregiving and openness about his feelings have transformed me into the most grateful, humbled woman. It is no surprise that stress and poor health go hand in hand as one tends to precede the other. When you are living with chronic Lyme disease or other persistent illness, you do your best to put on a happy face, go about your day and try to function in the world.
But this is the reality many of us have faced or continue to deal with every day.
Lyme disease – The Sick and the Dating
What the world often does not see is the pain we experience, the numbness in our limbs, the fogginess in our brain and the tears we hide from our loved ones. Despite our best efforts to feel well, progress can be slow or sometime even worse with certain treatments.
We often rely on others to lean on in times of need for various degrees of assistance. But perhaps no one feels this more than our spouse, partner, boyfriend or girlfriend who share our lives together daily. I have seen many people with Lyme disease and other chronic illnesses over the years have difficulty maintaining a long-term relationship or developing a new one. The stress of caring for someone with Lyme disease can leave them feeling angry, resentful, helpless and sometime hopeless. So how do you keep your current relationship healthy, despite your health issues or how do you cultivate a new relationship while working on getting well?
It takes a lot of work from both sides to make it work.
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But here are my tips to working toward a healthy, happy relationship with your significant other. It will get better.
Being open and honest with the women you meet will help you separate out the good ones from the bad. Someone who responds to your vulnerability with empathy, honesty, and acceptance of where you are right now is a keeper. Above all, take your health on your schedule. If you think it might be best to delay dating for a few months so you can get a better handle on your symptoms, triggers, and flare-ups, there is nothing wrong with that. Take it one day at a time, one date at a time. Write to the editor: More you may like.